Long story short... we got stranded about 60 miles from GDL on the way home from celebrating Mexican independence (200 anniversary) in a little mountain town. Luckily we were 7 people in two cars and were able to push Dennise´s (Brenda´s sister) car about a mile to the nearest pueblo. While some folks called insurance and tow trucks and the rest found shade against a deteriorating building, little Logan came out of the woodwork and proceded to uncover multitudes of grasshoppers, caterpillars, spiders, etc. Soon our whole wagonparty was engrossed.
A quick glance into the quality of Mexican business... Dennise had just paid her insurance the week before, was told the new policy would not take effect for a month but that she would be covered, even had it in writing. Nevertheless, the first operator informed her that she was not covered and that it would cost a whopping $220 (dollars) to tow us home. After a brief tantrum and many more phone calls she finally got it worked out.
On that note, another quick glance... my phone policy allows me to establish 3 phone numbers to which I can call and text for free. We called two separate times to make Brenda and Denisse's phone numbers free for me. Otherwise, cell to cell convo costs me 4 pesos (32 cents) per minute. There was no language barrier because Denisse made the calls. Well, two weeks later my approx $80 of credit disappeared. Investigatory phone conversations revealed that they had entered the numbers into the computer but neglected to activate them. Unlike American businesses, they felt no need to make it right, nor do I think an inflammatory email would do the trick.
The phone company here is something else, and they basically have a monopoly. I think the owner/creator of Telmex recently achieved the crown of richest man in the world? Just yesterday I received a text that they would give you double credit and that the offer would last for ¨max 48 hours¨. 30 hours later I bought 100 pesos of credit but did not get the deal. They had successfully baited me, screwed me, and covered their own asses with the simple phrase ¨max 48 hours¨.
In all, I think it took about 3 hours for the tow truck to arrive from GDL. The other car of four took off and Brenda and Denise and I passed the time walking the limited dirt and brick streets, eating 80 cent sandwhiches, drinking 80 cent beers, and chatting with whatever locals found us interesting.
Finally the tow truck shows up and I was the first to realize... we can´t all fit in that cab... and south of the border, the gringo holds a permanently short straw. I climbed up into the passenger seat of the broken down car, buckled in, and listened to some words of advice from the driver... ¨If you want to sleep, go to sleep. If you want to drink, go ahead. If you need to use the bathroom flash the lights (note that this was impossible because the battery was completely completely dead... it appears that some sort of alternator belt or something had broken some time before). If you see police, put your head down.¨ And we were off. Halfway I received a phone call instructing me to get down immediately because we were coming up on a federal checkpoint. They did not stop us.
The first half hour was amazing. I was elevated above all other traffic as we descended from the mountains and circumvented Lake Chapala. Then discomfort began to set in. The chain reaction of momentum transfers meant that with each little bump in the road my ass nearly lifted off from the seat, eliminating the possibility of sleep and planting a seed of testicular pain that grew to dizzying proportions over the next hour and a half. To make matters worse, it was getting cold and the automatic windows were stuck all the way down. I arrived a wreck, exhausted, with sweatshirt wrapped over my face, clutching balls, searching for remedies that were just not meant to be found.
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